Random Sanity

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Archive for July, 2008

Asinine corporate slogans

Posted by Steve on July 26, 2008

This is not going to be pretty. I am in pain. I am cranky. I have a keyboard and I’m not afraid to use it. You have been warned.

So there I was merrily wending my way to the doctors. You see my thyroid is pretty much packed up and I’m being stuck with endless needles for blood tests and then visiting the doctor to be told my thyroid is still knackered, and here, have more medication. 75 minute bus ride for a 2 minute appointment. My doctor is great, but the effort to reward ratio could use some work.

So anyway, there I am, listening to my iPod, watching the world go by to a soundtrack of Tangerine Dream and Stan Ridgway (I’m so fucking eclectic! Worship my electic tastes and build statues in my honor!) on the bus, and we pass a downtown grocery store. Sobeys. In the window, in fact plastered all over the cocking thing is the phrase “Urban Fresh”. It’s not just Sobeys. Oh no, it’s so much more, it’s Sobeys Urban Fresh…

Okay, what does that even MEAN? That they grow their vegetables in a hobos pants perhaps? I don’t know. It just struck me as yet another suit driven, “idea shower” generated piece of nonsense. Those involved in it’s creation will be given a five minute head start, because I like to be sporting. before we dispatch the kill team.

I am sick of this endless buzzword corporate catchphrase society. Everything has got to be a commodity. A name. Everything needs a bloody catchphrase. You eat fast food, “I’m lovin’ it”, or perhaps “you want it your way”. As the day has worn on, this “Urban Fresh” thing has annoyed me more and more. It’s become like the centerpiece of this vast fucked up maelstrom of corporate sloganeering we see every bloody day. The world whirls around it, but it’s okay, because everything at the center is Urban Fucking Fresh.

Fuck you Sobeys for having a hand in the collapse of western civilization. (Though I am a whore for your Dagwood sandwiches.) And an especially hearty FUCK YOU to the third party company they no doubt contracted to come up with this two word chunk of IQ reducing stupidity. I mean really, forget I said it was a grocery store, what connotation do you take from the phrase? For me, it would be something like a mix CD of new R&B artists. (R&B… There’s another phrase that’s been utterly fucking bastardized by corporate assholes. Since when are ANY of the artists associated with that genre recording anything that could be remotely considered Rhythm and Blues? May the ghost of Muddy Waters skullfuck those responsible while they sleep.)

Slogans are supposed to stick in our head. Make us remember their association. The only association I make from phrases like “Urban Fresh” is that some jackass now thinks he’s the cock of the fucking walk because he came up with a great catchphrase that fits perfectly into the 21st century corporate driven world.

It’s short, punchy, and absolutely fucking meaningless.


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Picture posting test

Posted by Steve on July 26, 2008


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I might…

Posted by Steve on July 25, 2008

Have overreacted a bit the other day. *cough*

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Posted by Steve on July 23, 2008

Being a parent sucks. Anyone who says otherwise is a liar and trying to sell you on joining the misery.

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Posted by Steve on July 22, 2008

Testing the new iPod WordPress app.

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